Real-life furries just around the corner?

These are strange, strange days we live in.

Since I've been living in a cave for the past six months or so, I missed the last State of the Union address. Apparently, the President addressed the issue of human/animal hybrids possibly being created in labs. You know... Guinea Men.

I dunno, I think having a dog that could tell you what it wanted in English would be preferable to having it yap all night. And with a little genetic manipulation, you could give Fido a pair of arms so he could help out around the house instead of just eating and sleeping. If we're going to own pets, let's at least make them useful, eh?

And just imagine how happy your children will be when they go to Disney World and Mickey's head doesn't come off.

Let's just skip human/animal fusion and shoot for spontaneous combustion. Who wouldn't want a cow or a pig that could simply erupt into flames on command and spare us the tedium of grilling meat ourselves? Top that, Benihana!

Oh, the possibilities! We shouldn't fear evolution... we should fumble around with it like a drunk looking for his hotel keys. This is probably the one and only time where science could literally make an ass out of the scientist. Oh brave new world, here we come!

Just remember, kids: "Pig and elephant DNA just won't splice."